Miracle - Forty and Fab
Ok, so I know most people dread turning forty. Many people would never tell their age on-line or even in person! I, however, am celebrating and letting it be known!
Fourteen years ago my husband was called at work. I had been real ill all summer, and in and out of the hospital. In August of that year, I was found to have a very serious chronic illness - a Lupus like illness. Back then there was not all the information available about autoimmune illnesses. Doctor's knew very little. My primary Doctor's were very compassionate and personal. They were kind as they talked with my husband and told him that I had a three to five year prognosis. He came home early, so I knew something was up. I wouldn't let him move as he shut the door. I grabbed him and said, "What's wrong? Did the Doctor's call?" As I relive these events my mind goes into slow motion. I remember falling to the floor, holding on to my dear love as he fell with me. Sobbing and on our knees we cried out to the Lord.
We were so young, in love and had a young daughter. I remember my Prince Charming, clutching me and vowing his love and devotion. I remember he told me that we he would do everything God equipped him to do. We would make the most of every moment God granted us. We would give Him control and trust him. On our knees we fully gave everything, every breath to our Heavenly Father. From that moment on I have had to trust Him with everything within me, and trust my husband for everything I would need.
For someone so independent, with BIG dreams, and "trust issues" this was going to be huge task! Sadly, we too are human. We have failed. There are times over these fourteen years where we lacked faith, got angry, failed each other, and took moments and each other for granted. You know what though, God handled it, and still loves us. We cried, yelled and talked till we we worked it out each and every time. We made it a rule fourteen years ago that we would not go to sleep without forgiving each other and being sure we both loved each other. We knew tomorrow was not guaranteed! We recently celebrated twenty years of marriage. We have buried friends and loved ones, and been harshly reminded of what a gift God was giving us as we live each day! We have walked by our sister's through Cancer. We have stood by parents as they faced heart surgery. Through it all God has taught us ,grown us, healed us, and given us HOPE! My electrophysiologist once told me," There is nothing more powerful than HOPE! It will be your greatest medicine, and can do far more for you than I can. I want my patients to realize that." I want all of you to realize how powerful hope can be. We must stand with each other, help one another, vow to never leave and do all you can! We must share hope!
As I prepare to celebrate life and reaching such a milestone, I am so eternally grateful for the love of my life, my hero, my mate for life. I am so thankful for the joys of my life, my children. I am so blessed to have so many friends and such a wonderful extended family that have faithfully stood by me throughout every storm and celebrated every victory with me! These are gifts that fuel me on. I rest every night knowing I have lived! I am blessed! I know "joy comes in the morning", and that even if it is a morning wrecked with pain, sickness and disabilities - I will celebrate that morning! I cannot see the Sun without worshiping the Son! No blog, no words can express my gratitude to all for all, to my God for all He blesses me with. I pray my life will glorify Him despite myself. I pray this nation will realize how valuable every life is! Have hope my friends!